Hacking Part 3

Rose went out with her friends and left me all alone with her mum. I understand the human need to... I don't know, shall we say group? Yes, group sounds quite good. Someone called Shareen who I've heard about and Keisha who I've met. I don't think she was entirely planning on going out but now she has, they've gone to some pub or another and I had nothing better to do than eat digestive biscuits and watch telly with Jackie while she talked about how it was like 'the good old days'. I suppose the good old days are before I came into the picture, but I always did get the impression that Rose enjoyed time and space and visiting places and running and trouble and everything that comes along. In fact she's said several times, usually when we're about to die, but still she's said!

But anyway, I got bored of whatever soap it was that Jackie had on and decided to poke around a bit, she was none too happy when she found me going through the bathroom cupboard, but it was fascinating! I've never seen so many creams and lotions and things! It seems remarkable that humans are so obsessed with staying hydrated when they're seventy percent water to begin with. If they actually kept themselves hydrated then they wouldn't have dehydrated skin! But Jackie caught me sticking my finger in a pot of something called 'Under Eye Anti-wrinkle Cream' and was very displeased.

But all this got me thinking that I'd like to scientifically look at the human aging process. It's not as if I am unaware of how it works or anything, I've been around enough human beings to know that, but it never really seemed all that important before. So I told Jackie I was going to do repairs and went to the TARDIS to begin my observations.

Humans have an average life expectancy of approximately 66.12 Earth years, though to be fair that factors in all sorts of places on Earth, being technically European, Rose can expect probably about 77 years, average. But then again, seeing as though she has access to medicine, foods, and technology from the future she might have a good 100 years in her, maybe more. That leaves 80 more of them left for adventures.

Eighty years.

Eighty years!

That is a dismally small number. I don't quite like the sound of it. And that doesn't even take into account the aging process.

So, I took a photo of Jackie and a photo of Rose and put them together:


Well, I suppose Jackie doesn't look too bad for... I don't know, how old is Jackie now? 55? 58? I suppose she's not so bad for human years. But I think maybe I should tell Rose not to cake on the makeup so well, sometimes Jackie looks like she's stuck the White Cliffs of Dover under her eyes. This might require more research.

Oh. ....There is knocking on the TARDIS door. Why is there knocking on the TARDIS door? Well, one way to find out I suppose.

Cheerio! I should say that more often, cheerio!

This is the Doctor by the way.

Hacking Part...3? I Don't Remember, We'll Just Say 'Hacking'

Well, it seems that Rose has posted all about our Boving adventures, though I suppose I'm not surprised she does tend to like to tell people about adventures and that was a good one. Though, obviously, huh, Oh! This is the Doctor by the way.

There are several issues that need addressing it seems.

1) There were no reapers because the TARDIS was compensating for all Doctor related paradoxes. It's happened before, not, well, not usually in the same regeneration but still it's happened before, usually for very long, very complicated universe ending reasons, but that's beside the point. My people were very good at dealing with things like paradoxes, as I told Rose once when the Time Lords were around they could compensate for things going pear shaped (where did that phrase ever come from? You Earthlings say the weirdest things, brilliant things but weird, safe as houses? yeah, yeah. Maybe from now on it'll be banana shaped, oh I like that). The technology is in the TARDIS and Doctory paradoxes are not hard to compensate for. As I've said a million times, I know what I'm doing.

2) I rather liked that blue suit. My pinstripes matched my shoes!!!

c) wait, no...

3) Rose's little photo of the double TARDISes is so cute. She's so bad at photoshoping things.

And finally

4) The important thing is; Rose has gone to sleep now, and when she wakes she wont remember anything about Bovinga at all. And neither will I. Me and, well, me fixed things with the TARDISes so that she'll erase everything that happened. No one can know their own personal timelines and I wont have Rose running around thinking something happens to her. She doesn't want to know, I don't want to know. End of discussion.

I've jiggered and poked her blog so that she can't read her postings from Bovinga. She'll know nothing about Donna Noble or future me and they won't remember anything either.

Well then, this isn't the most fun post I've ever written, but well, I suppose that's all right, I wont remember it anyway. So cheerio! I should say that more often 'Cheerio!'. Brilliant.

Hacking Part 2

Well then, this might become a regular thing. That girl sleeps too much. She pretended to be very cross with me for hacking in before, but she was laughing while she pretended so I think she was more amused than anything else. Human beings are always doing that, saying one thing and meaning another, especially female humans. Don't get me wrong, love the species, you're all just so confusing with your things, and... things. Anyway. Yes, oh, this is the Doctor again, by the way.

Rose said I had a fan so I had to check and then there were bits I had to respond to soooo, helenw, I shall definitely keep you in mind when I unload Rose, companions are hard to come by.

Okay, well it might be awhile though, I rather like Rose. She's very good at the running. And is almost as excited about danger as I usually am. Plus she's very good at tea, she clearly didn't learn her cooking skills from her mum who is very good at opening a tin. Plus she does this laughing thing where her eyes get sort of crinkly. Very amusing. I shall have to take a photo sometime.

Anyway, bye for now!