Entry Twenty-eight- Bolomo (3)

I never really thought that I'd ever get to the point my life where I had to go back to work at Henrick's Department Store. I mean, it wasn't so bad, at a time. Mum even thought it was a bit posh, but I'm a different person now, and going back to work in a shop after travelling and helping people and saving things and all that stuff that I'd done with the Doctor... it was the worst thing that I could imagine.


But I didn't have any other choice. I could have grieved for myself but I had much more important grieving to do. And I missed time and space, obviously, it'd become my life. and I missed every minuted of it. But I missed the Doctor more. Some nights I'd go back to the TARDIS and with a torch, the lights were never on anymore. I couldn't really stay away. I'd wander the halls, exploring rooms I'd never seen before, play dress up in the wardrobe, just like we'd done sometimes, when I begged. I slept in my bed sometimes. I never moved anything, it was all the way it had been when we'd been travelling.

I spent the majority of my time in the console room. It was bleak, depressing really. After Christmas, with the Sycorax, when the TARDIS hadn't been able to translate the language into my head, I'd asked the Doctor what the TARDIS would ever do without him. I knew they were connected, I don't know... physically or something. He said that she probably wouldn't. Time Lords are connected with their TARDISes and if the Time Lord dies the TARDIS has no purpose anymore, and will just... die of grief. Now, standing in the console room, I believed it.


Sometimes I would run my hand over her controls or against the coral columns and sometimes I'd feel a faint hum in my head that was either very faint or wishful thinking, but most of the time I felt nothing. She might've been even more hollow than me.

And life went on. As it must.

I wasn't happy, I wasn't content, I wasn't even myself anymore. And I could tell that people were concerned. Mum could hardly concentrate on anything else and Shareen would come by to watch EastEnders and Hollyoaks, but I couldn't figure out what was going on anymore. They were just actors doing... acting things on a screen. It wasn't important. We'd go out for drinks with Keisha, and they'd try on flirting with boys, but I couldn't react.

I knew that I had to snap out of it, and I tried. I didn't know when would be too long, when everyone would get tired to feeling sorry for me and start feeling annoyed. I didn't think it could be much longer. And I tried I really did, but I couldn't... I just couldn't move on.

And then one night, not any different than any other night, I was tucked up into my bed sleeping and I heard my name. Just once, and not loudly, not alarming, not anything except that it was obviously his voice.

I figured that I had to have been dreaming. But then the next night it was the same. He was calling me again, only this time slightly more urgently. And when I awoke from it, I forced myself back into sleep. He never said anything besides my name, and I knew that it was just my imagination, my mind hearing what it wanted to hear, but I started spending as much time as possible asleep. I called into work sick, I told mum I had a headache one day, a stomach ache the next. I knew that she was concerned, but I didn't care because as long as I was asleep, he'd be talking to me.

And then it wasn't just when I was asleep. One night when Shareen was over for EastEnders I was sitting on the couch eating chips when I heard my name again, clear as day. I stopped mid-chip.

"You okay?" Shareen asked me, and I just nodded. What was I supposed to say. 'My best friend, the most important person in the entire universe, you know the dead one? He was just talking to me in my head'? Hardly.

And then it wasn't just my name. It was "Rose, can you hear me?" or "You can do this, Rose, just..." or "Come on, Rose".

And then really weird things started happening. One day I walked into my bedroom in the Powell Estate and it was my bedroom in the TARDIS. I stared for a moment then went out and went back in again. It was my Powell Estate bedroom again. For an hour another day mum's hair was curly like it had been at day I'd saved and then lost Dad. Another the manager of Henrick's was the one that'd been manager when it'd been blown up rather than the one I had now.

And then Mickey came over. Mickey who'd been living in a parallel universe just the day before. And he acted like I was the mental one, like I was confused, didn't know what was going on. Which... I was starting to think was true.

Then finally, the inevitable. The sky filled with ships. Harriet Jones was Prime Minister again. Mickey had a gigantic gun I'd never seen him with before. Shareen had a baby she'd never given birth to. The Jagrafess was living in my ceiling, I screamed as a Gelth took over mum's body, Mickey was deleted and Keisha turned into a gold statue golem type thing. My head felt like it was going to explode.

So when the door to the flat burst open with choruses of "ex-ter-min-ate" I was hardly surprised. In fact, when they started speaking to me, I was annoyed. I didn't want to hear the ultimatums, I didn't care. Everything had been taken, and it was time.

"Daleks!" I yelled and they all stopped their chorus. "Remember your emperor? You wanna know how he died? That was me. Some stupid little human girl took all of the Time Vortex and turned him into dust! Now what do you have to say about that?"

Predictably, what they had to say was exterminate. Which had been the goal afterall. Because this wasn't right, there was something wrong, and if there was anything that could fix it I had a fairly good idea that this was it. I am not sure how many of them took aim at me. I closed my eyes, bracing myself for pain, cause I was fairly sure that it hurt like hell anyway. It did. My whole body seared and boiled and just before I hit the floor in a heap my eyes flew open.

I was lying in that room full of mirrors back on that planet with the factory and the Doctor was hovering over me, and he grinned when he saw my eyes open and said, "Bout time!"

My mouth fell open and I tried to sit but there was something around my head preventing me. The Doctor soniced it off and I flew into his arms. I couldn't quite believe that he was here, and he was fine and just... not dead. But he was there sort of laughing at me because I was sobbing into his lapel.


"Oh, Rose... it's okay now. All the equipment's off now and look you're back!"

I knew I must look a wreck, but I mean... I was well happy! It was only then that I sort of looked around and said, "What. the. Hell?"

"This," he said waving his arms around the room, "was the Dream Factory on the planet Bolomo. It was built so that people could come here for holidays or whatever and they'd go into dreams which the neurological enhancer would propigate into well... the best thing they could dream up. Cheaper than a real holiday and takes about .2 percent the time it would be if all that was acted out in real time. Bet it felt like months, nah, was just about ten minutes.
"
I shook my head, "That was no dream." I said, hooking a thumb at the equipment I'd just been attached to.

"No, it wouldn't be," the Doctor said, nodding, "no cause it all went wrong, didn't it. Like it always goes wrong when you try to take the easy way of things. They realised there was no way to block out the nightmares. People'd pay good money to come for a lovely holiday and they'd end up in their worst fears. Pretty soon the whole thing was overrun with nightmares, there was no stopping it. They tried to cut back on costs by using robotic workers who'd hone in on live humanoid creatures and hook them into the machines, there's feeding tubes and of course the neuroplastic helmet."

"Of course."

"Yeah. But eventually the corporation was given a red card and every living thing moved out, everyone knows now to go to Bolomo now. Well, there's nothing here but the Dream Factory, and that's what you're keen to avoid. Bit of bad lucky for us, I'd say. I thought for awhile you were going to be in there for hours and hours. I might've gotten awfully bored."

I rolled my eyes and then got indignant, "Well why didn't they take you?"

"Don't be silly, course they did. Hooked me in same as you, just got myself out sooner. All you've got to do is die. Of course... you have to realise you're in a dream first, I suppose. That's the trick really. But then again, I'm very clever."

"What did you see?" I asked him.

"Oh, you know, but what about you? Did the world end? Earth, I mean, Earth."

I shook my head, "The Earth was there. It was- well anyway, can we get out of here first. Please?"

He nodded, used his sonic on the helmety thing again, zapping it so that smoke rose. I figured he'd just knackered it. I supposed the whole place was safe now. Then he stood, took my hand and off we trundled to the TARDIS.

"Probably best," he said, "battling your head does work up an appetite and I've just remember the most fantastic nut sugar loaf you can only get at this tiny stop on this tiny planet in the Zolgi System. What do you say?"

I nodded, fiddling with my hoop earring and pretending to think about. "Yeah, nut sugar loaf sounds about right."

Until next time.

Entry Twenty-seven- Bolomo (2)

It's funny cause I always figured that dying would be the worst thing that could ever happen to me. The worst thing that could happen to anyone. Obviously, my lifestyle is a bit conductive towards the dangerous and there've been many instances where death seemed to be staring me in the face. But it'd always been worth it. I would never regret going with the Doctor, not ever, and there are some things that are just more important than me. Plenty of things I'd be willing to give my life for.

I was wrong. Death is merciful.

I could hear the whiring of wheels and the Daleks talking amongst themselves and was fairly sure that I had only moments left but I couldn't hear what they were saying and I didn't care. I was lying on the ground curled up in a ball, my hand still tangled up in the Doctor's, and my face resting on his chest. I kept thinking that if I just waited... I am very attached to this current regeneration of the Doctor's (as you probably know) but I'd prefer any regeneration to him just... lying there.

I waited for a long time, my face pressed against the Doctor's pinstriped suit jacket, until I realised that it was quiet. Too quiet. And when I turned my face to look towards where the Daleks had been they were just gone. I sat up then, looked around, couldn't quite believe it, considering it made no sense. They were supposed to kill me, instead they'd just left me there, which was about six million times worse.

For a long time I just stared, and then I started to cry. And I am not sure that I have ever cried like that before. There'd been times, back when everything went wrong with Jimmy especially, when I realised I'd never know my dad, when I lost him the second time those had been tears. I'd cried, and cried hard, but this was different this was like losing everything. I could sit here and try to explain what I was feeling, hallow, sick, chest compressions, all that stuff that is just words, there's just no way.

I don't remember pulling the Doctor back into the TARDIS and I don't remember activating Emergency Protocol One, but the next thing I knew I was in the same position I'd been in, only now the Doctor's suit jacket was covered in tears and Mum was knocking on the TARDIS door from the outside and calling my name. Maybe she could hear my sobs from outside, I couldn't tell, but she sounded worried.

And then somehow I must've opened the door cause she was rushing in, holding me and asking what had happened. I stayed where I was, sobs racking through my body, she stayed with me and hours later when my tears dried up but I still refused to move, she brought me tea that went untouched and then finally she put a blanket over me when I fell asleep.

I don't know how long I was there, but it was a long time. Even I could tell that it was a long time, but I couldn't get myself to move. The TARDIS got dimmer and dimmer until the lights went out all together and I could no longer feel her humming in my mind. And I still couldn't move. I think it was days. Mum kept bringing in tea and sandwiches, a pizza once, and I ate some but not enough, and she'd sit with me some and try to talk but I didn't respond, I couldn't say anything.

And then one day I got up. My legs would hardly move and my heart felt like it weighed about five tonnes but I got up and I got myself out of the TARDIS. It was parked down the street from the Estate, just where it'd landed when he'd sent me back from the Daleks that first time.


Then I went home. Mum was happy to see me out, obviously. She had a client when I went in, and I was sure I looked a complete wreck, but she hurried up to finish and then we sat down with a cup of tea and I told her everything. The tears came back then. She held me and we talked.

"But, I thought that when he was hurt he just changed his face," she said, genuinely confused so that I didn't fault her for asking even though it hurt.

I wiped tears off my face and shrugged a bit. We'd talked about it, the Doctor and me, after Christmas, when he'd been getting all his strength back, and we all exchanged gifts and did the domestic thing until he felt one hundred percent and we couldn't get out of there fast enough. He told me all about it, regeneration, and I thought I understood. Time Lords could repair themselves, change their whole bodies, twelve times, thirteen different bodies, so long as they were dying. Not dead. All those times he'd been scared, ready to die for the rest of the world, he wasn't being glib, he would die and not regenerate if it was fast enough.

She drew me a bath and I changed my clothes, ones that I'd left behind, old clothes, too big but comfortable. And then I went back into the living room.

"Mum, will you cut my hair?" I asked. And she didn't seem happy about it but she nodded and cut my hair into a short crop that went just below my ears, and gave me fringe, into kind of a twenties bob.

I wasn't sure how it looked. I didn't care how it looked. That wasn't the point, I just needed to change.

When it was time to go to bed I left the flat, took a torch with me, and went to sleep on the TARDIS. I knew it was a bit bleak, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to be near him, and I cried myself to sleep again.

This went on for about a week before I went back to the Powell Estate one morning and Shareen and Keisha were there. Mum had obviously spun them some story, probably near the truth but something involving South America which is where I was meant to be. We chatted and I might've smiled once or twice even.

Finally Shareen put both her hands on the table and smiled at me sympathetically. "Rose, they're hiring at Henrick's again. And I talked to Susan, down there and she said that cause you were on the premises during that explosion you'd be guarnteed a job," she looked between Keisha and mum then, probably for fortitude and then spoke again, "We all discussed it and we thought it might be best for you to start working again."

More later...

Entry Twenty-six- Bolomo

I know I'm rubbish, scold me it may make me proactive enough to post more often. But you try not being distracted while travelling in time and space!

Anyway, we headed out to the Vendala Cluster to watch one of the the stars turn supernova. I do accept that I'm not all that scientific-y but I must admit I was a bit wary about it, exploding stars don't seem like the place you'd like to picnic, but of course the Doctor assured me it was just fine, or 'more than fine it's brilliant!'. But apparently this particular supernova wouldn't be discovered to have occurred for over three hundred years, and then only because it would cause the creation of a whole new cluster itself. I asked how that worked if we were seeing it now, but he said tht we didn't count since we were only seeing it cause we knew about it after the fact, and that it'd be an abuse of our position as time travellers. But he said it was okay to tell mum and to blog about it since you lot are in the Vendala Cluster's past. Fancy that, I watched a star die today that wouldn't even have been born yet in the year I'm supposed to be living. It's all a bit timey wimey but I took a photo, here it is:


It was beautiful. Just space, as if 'just space' really exists, one moment and then the whole thing, well... expanded.

The TARDIS sort of blew sideways and we were both thrown to the side with the TARDIS door open. It was like the TARDIS was on water and we were going down a slide. Like what I'd imagine it'd be like going over a waterfall in a barrel. It was brilliant and gorgeous and a million different adjectives that I simply can not describe.

But after that we thought it'd be a good idea to go somewhere to land, the poor TARDIS did get a bit of a jostle and even though she'd very versatile we don't want to irritate her... she's rather important... and it was definitely time to find some sort of trouble. So we stuck her on randomise cause sometimes I'm convinced that the Doctor's seen everything but he magically sees it all again for the first time through my eyes. But on randomise we never know where we might end up, neither of us, so when we open the TARDIS door there could be anything on the other side. And that's a brilliant feeling, exhilarating.

This time when we opened the door we were in the middle of this great big grassy field just randomly sat there with no one else around. Nothing in the sky, nothing on the streets, and there were streets. Nothing just this gigantic looking factory type thing:


So, well... where else were we going to go? The factory thing was all but empty, it looked like thousands of people should have been working this thing but it all but empty. There wasn't a single soul inside so far as I could see. There was tonnes of equipment around and stuff, and the Doctor started going through it, all proper like, spectacles on and everything. I wandered into an adjoining room to do a bit of my own investigation. The whole room was covered in mirrors, which caused kind of a brilliant effect with thousands of Rose Tylers reflecting at me. And there was this sort of hospital bed in the middle of the room. Well I say hospital bed but it was really a sort of cot with IVs set up near it. It was a bit weird really, but I figured that this must be some sort of experimental facility, which could either be kind of cool or kind of terrifying. I tried on cool, but just then the Doctor practically ran into the room and grabbed my hand.

"I know where we are, Rose, I'll explain on the TARDIS, but we have to go, now."

Well I wasn't going to argue that, when the Doctor says we have to flee then we really have to flee, even if I didn't know what it was or what was going on the look on his face was enough to tell me that we needed going now. I just nodded and we both started running for the exit.

And we were about halfway across the main factory area when everything just went black.

The next thing I knew the Doctor, with the same panicked tone to his voice, was shaking me awake.

"Rose! Wake up, we've got to get to the TARDIS."

I wasn't entirely sure what had just happened, if I'd just passed out or blanked out or been knocked out I had no idea, but it was clear that I was gone there for a moment, which was more than a little weird, but I quickly forgot it due to the fact that the Doctor was still panicking us out of this place as fast as we could reach the TARDIS door.

The ground was sort of shaking like some sort of earthquake, though he said it was more like a haemovortic electrical storm. I slammed the door shut behind us and he gave me the sort of look that told me we might be in a hurry but please be careful of my ship and so I ran my hand along a column and heard her hum in my mind.

He started switching switches and cranking levers and was smiling like usual and running off some anecdote about Venusian Mangoes, which made me smile too. And it was just like usual. Until it all went pear shape.

Suddenly all the poor went out, and we both sort of stared at the time rotor confused. And then the door just sort of exploded from the outside in. Scrapes of the poor TARDIS went flying everywhere and so forcefully that we had to duck behind the console to keep from being impaled. And it was very very quiet. And we were very very quiet listening to whatever it was that had just broken through the TARDIS door because you knew that couldn't be good.

And then there was this little whiring of wheels and this sentence: "The Doct-tor and his com-pan-ion will leave the TAR-DIS." And so far as I know there's only one creature in the universe that sounds like that, and I was fairly sure that they were all supposed to be dead. I'd turned them all into dust. I thought. Now I obviously couldn't see myself but I was fairly sure that I was blanching, and I hadn't previously noticed that I was holding the Doctor's hand quite so tightly but I apparently was.

"Come on," he said, standing and getting ready to just walk out there. I didn't move. "Rose, they've just blasted open the TARDIS door, we can't just hide in here they'll just come in."

I nodded, he had a point really, so I stood and we walked out of the TARDIS together. Now I am not exactly sure what it was that I was expecting but it really wasn't an entire army of Daleks. A few maybe, not that it would matter, I'd once seen one Dalek take out two hundred people without a blink of it's eyestalk, but an army was... worse. Much worse. And they were all staring at us.

"You are the Doc-tor, you are registered as ene-my of the Daleks, you will be exter-min-ated."

The Doctor held up one of his hands and said "Well now wait just-" and then that was all he got out cause the Dalek that had just been speaking aimed his gunstalk and just... fired.

I was a bit out of body then, slow motion maybe. But I was aware of myself screaming my throat raw and the shot hit the Doctor square on the chest, his whole body sort of lit up like he was struck by lightening or something and then he was crumpled on the floor. He wasn't breathing, and neither of his hearts were beating. Just... nothing. And I really didn't want to think the word dead but at that point... what other word is there. I felt completely numb and my head was ringing. There'd been plenty of times travelling with the Doctor that I'd thought I was going to die, but I'd never known it before.

More later...

Entry Twenty-five - Earth (St Croix, 3427)

If there is one thing you do before you die... well feasible thing that I could suggest given that I believe my target audience is human and, well, on planet Earth, you must go to St Croix and eat crab on the beach with your best friend.

In a lot of ways the year 3427 seems so close, well compared with the year five billion at least, but in some ways it's still so far away from where I come from. 1,421 years. That's a long time really when you think about it. Long enough, anyway, for them to invent the self-freezing daiquiri:

...which pretty much look exactly like regular daiquiris only they are loads more convenient. I had strawberry and the Doctor is far too obsessed with bananas. I know, something about self-freezing liquid seems a bit unnatural, but the Doctor assured me that it was completely natural enzymes used to kick start the freezing process. Either way, very handy for taking crabs onto beaches that are impossible to access without boat or TARDIS. This one had sea turtles. Sea turtles! They burrowed and laid eggs on this particular beach (the Doctor made sure to land during turtle season). There's something brilliant about nature preserves, it's all a bit National Trust. Plus... sea turtles! So cute even their eggs are cute.

After we finished eating our crabs (which weren't half as nice as I thought they'd be, not quite like those lobster like things on Paris) and were properly covered with butter sauce to the point where we actually had to go back into the TARDIS to use the sink, I decided that it never really feels like a holiday if you're sleeping in your own bed. I settled into the sand with a spare blanket (much more comfortable than you'd think and the Doctor read a book with this little head lamp thing that he picked up in that parallel world with the Cybermen. I think it was the most adorkable thing I've ever seen; observe:

Obviously not the best of photos. But anyway, it was nice to drift off on the beach, like a proper drifter. But come morning it was best to move the TARDIS to town where it was slightly less conspicuous than an empty nature preserved beach.

In town I bought: silver toe rings (three and they all go on at once, interconnecting, it's pretty cool, the metal weaves itself together, the Doctor thinks they are ridiculous), a silver bracelet with a little hooky thing, and this piece of fabric that ties around my waist over my swimming costume. And then we got a couple more self-freezing daiquiris and went out on the beach.

By the way, the Doctor never changes his clothes, ever, I swear. I mean, well yeah, he changes his shirts and ties and I suppose it's possible that stored away in his bedroom in the TARDIS, which I know exists but I've never seen, there could be dozens of brown pinstripe suits. Or there could be a dry cleaner... though I rather doubt it. All I know is that I take my laundry home for mum to wash. Anyway, one might think that for the beach he'd feel the need to... well not wear a full suit and tie, especially as I was going about in my red bikini that I looked rather fabulous in if I do say so myself. At least he took off his trainers and rolled up his trouser legs. But he brought along things to tinker with and fix, while I lay out soaking up the sun and reading trashy magazines.

"You know what?" the Doctor said blowing on some sort of weird glass globey thing to rid it of sand.

"Well, I know you probably shouldn't be doing delicate repairs on a beach with sand."

"Cheeky. And I'm wondering if you want to rethink that swimming costume."

"Oi!" I said, trying very hard to be offended but not quite managing. "What?"

He was silent for a few moments until I rolled over slightly and moved my sunnies to my forehead, he twisted a couple of wires and then turned his attention from the whatever device. "How can you read those?" he asked me nodding towards my magazine.

Okay, I know that my chosen reading material is a bit... well, stupid. And I do try to read books more than I used to, especially with the TARDIS having such an extensive library. But, well, me and school never quite got along very well. In fact, I left without getting any A Levels. But he's always chastising me for reading gossip magazines. But there's so many, different countries, different planets, different times, different publications. And they're completely brilliant. I laughed. "They're brilliant."

"They're so not." Which is what he always says even though it's at this point where he always sneaks a peak... and just on cue; "Is that an Auton?"

"That's Posh."

"What's posh?"

"Spice!"

"Oh right," he didn't even bother to hide his peeking again, "You sure?"

I laughed and passed him a magazine. He'll never say he enjoyed it, but let's just say he read it.

Oh, and here is a photo of St Croix, gorgeous huh?


It wasn't until the next day that we broke out the floaties. And they were completely mad. Let me tell you, water floaties from the future are soooo much better than water floaties from now. They have have propellers, they have little jets that turn a floaty circle into a jacuzzi, they even have unfolding button operated blow up water slides, full size. We were so the envy of the beach, I tell you, the kids were sooo jealous. I might've felt bad if we didn't leave a couple of them for the future use of whoever wanted to use them. I am not sure the lifeguards were too keen on that, but I think they secretly couldn't wait to try them out late at night.

It's funny cause when I was small and then in school I couldn't wait for holidays and I am not saying that this one wasn't brilliant. I got a tan, I ate crabs on the beach, I drank many a self-freezing daiquiri, and I played with water floaties, but in the end of the day I was sort of itching for some sort of hostile alien take over. I was grateful for the warmth though. Next, I figured we should land in the middle of some sort of planet's rebellion, just to liven things up a bit. I was not expecting what the Doctor said next.

"We should visit Heather Little."

That got my attention. I was in the middle of shelling shrimps for my dinner. "Heather Little? MySpace friend, Dancing Daleks Heather Little?"

"Do you know another Heather Little?"

"Well, I don't really know that Heather Little."

"You know of her."

That was true. Plus, she'd drawn some pretty fantastic pictures of us, although (not to gripe) my eyes are brown.

Here they are:

http://sailorstarnite.deviantart.com/art/Inside-The-Doctor-s-Brain-104562170

http://sailorstarnite.deviantart.com/art/Dance-of-the-Daleks-105173265

http://sailorstarnite.deviantart.com/art/Merry-Christmas-Rose-107322288

http://sailorstarnite.deviantart.com/art/Merry-Christmas-Doctor-107327636


The thing about travelling in the TARDIS is this: Yes, there are adventures and danger and running, and helping people, but there's also seeing new things and meeting new people, and sightseeing. Everyday is a holiday. We're in St Croix now (I got TAN!). And tomorrow we could be testifying at a Slitheen's hearing on Raxacoricophallapatorius or we could be at Disney World, visiting Heather Little.

Until next time.